A Prelude to Motherhood

Maria Letizia, that’s her name.

Born last November, Maria is Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes’ first child. Turning a tender four months old this March, Maria has only seen the tiniest peep of this world. Maria has a lot to forward to with a mom like Marian. From lessons of humility and love for family to controling mood swings and learning independence, Marian’s years in the limelight have armed her with a plethora of life’s lessons a mother can pass on to a daughter.

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Recalling what it was like before becoming a wife and mother, Marian reminisces her life as an aspiring actress.

Back in college, Marian had even no inkling on what course to pursue. She ended up graduating with a Psychology degree from the De La Salle University in Dasmariñas, Cavite and worked as a special education teacher for quite some time. The budding beauty then spent her on-the-job training and three working months at the National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) in Mandaluyong City.

“I’ve always wanted to be independent, so after college, I decided to live on my own. A long discussion had to ensue between me and my Lola, because, as I’ve explained to her, ‘Gusto kong maranasan ang ibig sabihin ng buhay. Pero paano ko malalaman iyon kung parati akong naka-depende sa inyo? (I wanted to experience the meaning and value of life. But how on earth would I ever get to experience that when I’m always dependent on all of you?)’,” Marian recounts saying.

As such, she has lived on her own for seven years. Unlike other celebrities of lesser stature, Marian has no maids to do the household chores and no coterie of production assistants to help her with her showbiz requirements. She has a driver and a road manager, and that’s just about it.

Despite her independence from her family, Marian sees to it that she maintains close ties with them — every week, either she goes to Cavite or they visit her in her Makati city unit. They keep on texting and communicating with each other; she also chats with her father who is based in Spain.

Love for family has always dominated her feelings as the rosy cheeked actress adds “Plus, of course, I meet a lot of people who eventually get to know the real Marian Rivera. Whatever fruits of my hard work that I get to reap, I get to extend it to my dear family. When you get to see the glow and excitement on their faces, even with just a simple dinner invite from me, iba ‘yung balik sa akin nun (the result is immeasurable). That’s how much I value my family. Just a smile from them makes me totally whole.”

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Graduation came and went with Marian having her heart and head in the right places. Finishing school was one feat, but her beginnings in the world of show business proved to be the true test of her mettle.

When asked about her approach to criticism, the new mother explains that “everyone has choices; I have my choices, too. Pinalaki ako ng Lola ko kung saan ako kumportable, kung saan ako masaya at kung saan ko mas nai-express ‘yung totoong pagkatao ko (I was raised by my grandmother to express my true personality, and be comfortable and happy with my position). So why should I pretend to be someone who I am absolutely not?

“Kung mahal ka ng tao, mamahalin ka nila bilang ikaw; may kapintasan ka man o wala (People will love you for what you are, whether you have faults or not).

“What’s more important is that deep inside, you are not fake and pretentious! You are happy with what you are doing. I’d rather be comfortable in that position, instead of forcing myself to fit into someone else’s norms and ideals. At the end of the day, that’s how I have my peace of mind as I go in deep slumber,” she quips.

But life as a celebrity wasn’t always an emotional and mental battlefield for Marian. It was there, after all, where she met future husband Dingdong. Celebrity life reminded her of the kind of love she was capable of giving.

“I’m a very sweet person, too. When I love someone, I really will love that person all the way, 100 percent. I’m not the type who will just give 90 percent, and leave the remaining 10 percent for me. I believe true love doesn’t mean you have to hold back. I’m there to give my all. Now, if it doesn’t work for both of us, I will still keep on trying. If it fails, that’s the time I will give up. But at least, I can say to myself that I gave my all,” Marian affirms with a glow from her expressive eyes.

She hastens to add, “Hindi mo malalaman ang totoong pagmamahal kung hindi ka nasasaktan at hindi ka totoong nagmamahal. Kapag hindi iyan naranasan lahat ng isang relasyon, wala (One cannot experience true love if there is no pain involved and one does not love deeply. If one doesn’t experience all these, it’s useless).”

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And at the end of the day, Marian’s guiding principle is basic but timeless: thank God for everything, and just be a good person.

“As we open our eyes and wake up to yet another beautiful morning, let’s just thank the Good Lord for giving us His blessings. Huwag nating aksayahin ‘yung pagkakataon; gawin nating makabuluhan ‘yung buhay natin sa magagandang mga bagay. Kung meron ka namang hindi nagugustuhan sa isang tao, siguro mas maganda ‘yung hindi ka na lang magsalita (Let’s not waste the opportunity He gave to us. Let’s make our lives meaningful with beautiful things. Now, if we dislike something in a person, just keep mum about it).

“Less talk means less mistakes. Let’s just project good vibes because it reflects on you. If you’re not judgmental and if you perceive others in a positive light, that would be better. One of my favorite Biblical passages states that ‘God without man is still God.’ Pero ang tao, kung walang Diyos, wala rin talaga siya (But man has no essence without God),” she firmly attests.

“Alam kong walang taong perpekto, kaya’t kung may mga pagkakataon na alam mong hindi ka perfect, mas maganda na maging mabuting tao ka na lang. Mas maganda pa ang balik nun sa iyo.” (I know that nobody’s perfect. If there are instances when one knows that she can’t be perfect, the next best option is to just be a good person. The effects would be more beneficial as well),” she concludes with a flash of her pearly whites.

Marian, who is named after the Virgin Mary, has shown that she can be the best mother to little Maria. Marian may be a first time mom, but Maria can be assured that her mom is no rookie at life.

Editor’s note: The original article featuring this interview was first published in PeopleAsia’s April – May 2013 issue. 

Text by GREGGY V. VERA CRUZ | Photography by DOC MARLON PECJO