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September 16, 2016

Posted by admin

Shy away from the Shy Guy?

By EPPY GOCHANGCO 

Are you a woman in pursuit of a shy guy? Is this shy guy known not to have any relationships, or has not shown interest in anyone so far? Are you wondering if this man likes you the way you like him? Then wonder no more with these few words of wisdom for the modern gal.

Some men differ from the hot-blooded male. The shy guy, in particular, is unlike the Alpha male. Instead of going to parties getting drunk, pumping iron at the gym and picking up chicks at the local bar, Mr. Shy Guy is focused on other things, things that he is good at like computers, technology or his profession.

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(Jericho Rosales has definitely matured over the years)

Typically, a shy guy is neither aware of his looks nor his choice of clothing. This may perhaps be due to his experiences as a young man, back when he was ridiculed by his peers. In effect, he now stays away from the general public and, unfortunately, his relationships have taken a back seat in his life. It’s not that he wants to avoid relationships. It’s just that they are of no great interest to him as of the moment. No more, no less.

Sigmund Freud believed that human beings are driven by their libido or sexual desires. But in a society where control is expected, individuals aren’t allowed to fully manifest direct sexual behavior. This is why individuals are pressured to deflect these sexual instincts into more productive, socially acceptable behavior through a defense mechanism known as “sublimation”. Examples of behavior that manifests sublimation are: thinking, painting, teaching, praying, working, writing a literary piece and developing a computer program

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(Piolo Pascual has always won ladies over with his suaveness)

However, though he may not show you signs that he is interested, this does not mean that he doesn’t find you attractive at all. You see him steal a glance for a very brief moment, but you don’t know if that means anything. What does it mean? Fortunately for you (if you’re interested in Mr. Shy Guy), that’s a good sign. A glance is one way of knowing if a shy guy likes you. Shy guys don’t usually like to be seen, so they don’t look or make eye contact with anyone. So when you find him stealing a glance your way, especially from across the room, be thrilled because that means he really likes you.

If you get to see him frequently pass the area where you’re at, then, that’s no accident. Does he sometimes have this sudden shy grin or ready smile when you see him? Feel blessed because shy guys don’t do that often. Of course, as a woman, you want to feel desired. You want to feel like a goddess and all that and sometimes a glance is not enough. I hate to break it to you but dream on; shy guys aren’t into grand gestures.

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(Is Derek Ramsay just like the many rugged roles he plays onscreen?)

When you know Mr. Shy Guy likes you, it’s time to find ways to let him know that you are allowing him to get closer to you. Give him the message that it is safe for him to talk to you. Greet him once in a while. Engage him in conversation. He most probably likes to talk, but experience has taught him that no one is interested with what he has to say, which is why he prefers to keep mum. Taking this into consideration, gently coax him out of his shell. Give him the impression that you’re talking as friends. If he feels that there are no expectations, then he’ll feel safer and open up. The moment he feels that he is expected to act a certain way and reciprocate feelings, he may feel pressured and run away.

Even though the woman may not verbally express it, he may sense that he has to meet her expectations of him: to look manly, act manly, and all the other things Alpha males do to attract women. If you think dressing up in order to impress him is a good idea, think again. Chances are, even if you don’t think so, he might believe that you’re too beautiful for him, too popular for him, a woman way out of his league. To attract a shy guy, be yourself and make him feel that you are attracted to him because of who he really is.

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(Those who grew up in the nineties and noughties will John Lloyd Cruz for his boy next door roles)

It also helps to let him handle the reins every once in a while. When he suggests going to a certain place, try not to sway him to go where there are lots of people. Forcing him to go to a club, for example, will make him leave. As you may soon realize, the shy guy does not belong in the world of beauty and brawn; the world of ideas appeals to him more.

Unlike an Alpha male, the shy guy does not like to brag. He does not need to proclaim that he is better than others. If you want an intelligent man who is not a braggart and a pompous brute, then, Mr. Shy Guy is your guy. Remember, he may be harder to attain, what with his inhibitions and quiet, unassertive demeanor, but if a woman is patient enough, she will discover that a shy guy is definitely worth the work — and the wait.

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(One of the ladies’ absolute favorite shy guys, Alden Richards)

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