For this respected broadcast journalist and UN Women National Goodwill Ambassador, the key to having long and lasting friendships is the “purity of the heart.”
By JOSE PAOLO S. DELA CRUZ
As a young girl, Karen first found a friend in a neighbor, whom she would visit in her house every day. They would eat and play together all day, until her mom went looking for her. Sadly, her childhood friend and her family had to move to the United States when the economy collapsed, soon after Sen. Benigno Aquino Jr.’s assassination in 1983.
Then came her high school years at Colegio de San Agustin, where she met her teenage besties Stephanie and Claudine. Though we still occasionally meet, we also all have our own lives now, but I learned values from and with them as a teenager — not smoking, not drinking, the basics. It’s so important to have the right kind of friends at that age because they really help set you in the right direction.”
Decades have passed since but Karen remains passionate about the friendships she has nurtured along the way. And this includes the special bond she now shares with Small and Tootsy.
Quoting Oprah Winfrey, Karen believes that “You cannot be friends if you see jealousy in someone.”
“I’m now 54 years old and I’ve realized that while real friends must be there for you when you are down, there’s another part of friendship where someone is genuinely happy for your success. Like, purely, authentically,” she cautions.
And this is exactly what Karen found in Small and Tootsy, and vice-versa.
For starters, Karen, who has long been a fan of Small’s charm and candor, was one of the first people to encourage the latter to vlog. “I met Small 25 years ago, when she wasn’t famous yet. She was a housewife and has always been beautiful. She wasn’t as funny yet but she always made me laugh just the same. Over time I really saw her bloom, and look at her now!” she says, adding that Small is such “a loyal, fierce lover as a friend.”
The same can also be said with her relationship with Tootsy, whose cousin-in-law is one of Karen’s closest friends. the two also share a special bond, as both witnessed the closure of ABS-CBN from the frontlines.
Last year, the two also collaborated for Connect-Ed, a movement that raises funds for education. Connect-Ed and its partner organizations, including the Department of Education, recently raised P 21 million to purchase laptops and enhance connectivity for public school students in far-flung areas and last-mile schools.
Such feats and milestones, she says, could not have been possibly achieved, if there is jealousy among friends. The key to having ‘girlfriends’ is the purity of the heart. Because it builds your character when you have girlfriends who are selfless, who do not just think of their success and their wants, but are also there to cheer them on,” reminds Karen.
While love always wins in their little trio, Karen admits that it’s not roses and butterflies all the time, either. “Oh my God, Small and I have fought so many times over the past 25 years,” she says with amusement. “She would unfollow me. We would scream at each other on the phone. But at the end of the day, we would just find each other again.”
And how exactly do they do that? For Karen, it’s all a matter of acceptance and forgiveness. “If there’s one thing I’m proud of, it’s that as a friend, I don’t mind being the first one to say sorry. Some friends have a lot of pride, right? That’s not me!”
Small, on the other hand, also finds ways to bring things back to how they should be.
As for Tootsy, Karen commends her quiet strength, which she believes comes from a place of purity, “I mean, being married to, frankly, a senator who is now the Education Secretary, she will always have her own battles and fires to fight, right? But she does it in her own way, even if she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.”
And while Karen says that she’s far from being a perfect friend, she definitely has her heart set on being a good one. “I’m not perfect. I may have failed friends, too. But in the end, my heart always wants to be a good friend. And I think it’s so beautiful to age and grow old with good friends, with best girlfriends,” she concludes.
