With It girls Belle Daza, Georgina Wilson and Solen Heussaff getting married this year (Georgina’s already exchanged “I do’s”, and Solenn gets married on the 21st!), it might come to no surprise that their legions of fans and other young wome  have fantasized about their big days too.
Whether you’re attending a wedding,  a friend of the bride or the bride yourself, PeopleAsia offers some unconventional advice for you.
By EPPY GOCHANGCO
Sometimes, it’s best not to speak now, and to let the bride “forever†hold her peace.
People think that weddings are positive because they only see the way the couples are during the wedding ceremony and reception. But in reality, weddings can be stressful. Preparations for the wedding can be taxing for both the bride and the groom. It takes months for the preparation and nuances abound considering reception, location, the religious choice (if the partners are of two different religions), priority of guests for invitation, and more. All these take a toll on the couple, most especially on the bride.
(Toni Gonzaga married Paul Soriano in June 2015)
Researchers, in fact, identified that women end their relationships more than men do. There is a possibility that the preparations for the wedding or the wedding itself would make her want to back out from the ceremony, not because of the man she chose. Jennifer Wilbanks is one of the so called “runaway brides.†Psychiatrists and psychologists explain that stress due to the surrounding events of the wedding made her stage her own kidnapping in 2005 as an excuse to get out of the wedding. Although this is extreme, it still depicts the frustrations and fears that a woman can go through in preparation for the wedding.
Yet, most people would insist to think that a woman is happy and excited when she is about to get married. This stubborn way of thinking is the very cause of a woman’s irrational behavior. People’s insistence that the bride is “all right†makes them say things that can actually cause the bride to go into a tailspin.
Due to stress, a bride will be sensitive to subtle cues. She will doubt herself and her opinion. It is best to be careful of what one might say to a bride because it will have an effect on her. The things that one might consider not saying to a bride fall into two categories.
(Iya Villania just celebrated her second wedding anniversary with Drew Arellano last January)
Do not encourage the bride (too much)
One thing you must not do is encourage the bride to be insensitive to everyone. There is this show in WETV called BRIDEZILLAS. This show exposes the events that occur and the woman’s reactions from the time the man asks her to marry him until the two of them say “I do.†These women end up being insensitive to the groom, parents, wedding planner, and everyone else involved in her life, while on her way to getting married.
When a bride-to-be is choosing a gown and sounds confused, it is not helpful to say, “It’s okay to ask for an expensive gown. You’ll only marry once in your lifetime.†You’re not a psychic and can’t predict the future responses of your friend-bride or sister-wife. For all you know she may marry as many as five men in her lifetime. Back to the main point, this statement or any statement similar to this makes the bride feel she is entitled to a lot of things. Neither is it helpful to say, “Choose the most expensive hotel for your reception. You’ll remember it for the rest of your life.†You’re actually implying that nothing else matters. You’re giving the message that she should be insensitive to whoever is paying for the reception. If you’re truly her friend, or if you really love her, you’ll help her be sensitive to herself and others as well. You wouldn’t want people to hate her.
(Heart Evangelista and Chiz Escudero tied the knot two years ago)
Do not give her false hopes and expectations
When the bride-to-be starts to feel ambivalent about getting married, choose your words wisely. Telling her, “Don’t worry, your wedding night will be the most wonderful experience you’ll ever have.†Again, who died and passed on the gift of Extra Sensory Perception to you? You really don’t know what’s going to happen on the day of the wedding. One wife was so expectant of a wonderful night with her new husband. She ended up alone in the room because her new husband left her to be with his friends and came back the next morning. Another bride was wondering where her new husband was, only to discover that he was at the red strip having fun with his friends.
When talking to a bride-to-be, collect your thoughts and think of the consequences of your words. You might say something that will make the bride do things she might regret in the end.
(Belle Daza was engaged to Adrien Semblat in February this year)
For the Bride:
Getting married is a life-changing event that requires a lot of adjustments. As a bride, one would notice the need for change to abound. It needs a lot of effort to help yourself change. Here are the things you must remember:
1. Your husband is a man, not a woman. Do not expect him to feel like you and think like you. Thinking differently does not mean he does not love you. It just means he does things differently and expresses his feelings differently.
2. Preparing for the wedding should be something you enjoy doing. Do not use it as a tool to test if your future husband loves you or not.
3. Marrying means living with your husband. Do not think that it means leaving your family of origin. Most newly married brides get sad because they feel like they are leaving their mother, father, sisters and brothers – which isn’t exactly the case.
4. Don’t compare yourselves to the family of your new husband. The way your husband loves you will never be the same as his love for his mother, sister, brother, or father.
(Last but not least: Solenn Heussaff is set to marry Nico Bolzico tomorrow!)
