BY ALEX Y. VERGARA
“We also get Scarlet Snow involved in charity works. We make sure she understands why we are helping frontliners and the less fortunate. That we are blessed for a reason. We are blessed to be a blessing.” — Dr. Hayden Kho
Dr. Hayden Kho Jr., husband of leading beauty doctor Vicki Belo, gave us some fresh insights on fatherhood in the time of COVID-19 through an exclusive email interview. One of last year’s “Men Who Matter” awardees, Hayden is the proud father of perhaps the most famous five-year-old girl in the country today: Scarlet Snow Belo.
Like most families living under the constant threat of a pandemic, Hayden and family have managed to find a silver lining even during such a seemingly dire situation. For one, precocious Scarlet Snow is actually enjoying quarantine time with her otherwise busy parents, says her proud dad.
With Hayden and Vicki keeping their respective schedules these days to a minimum, Scarlet now has more quality time to spend with them.
“And she loves being with us,” Hayden shares with PeopleAsia through e-mail. “It’s actually heartwarming when sometimes we’re just reading a book together or watching TV then she’d just suddenly give us a hug and say ‘I love you’ unprompted.”
With Scarlet’s school still closed, the couple have had to take turns teaching her at home. Dubbed as “Teacher Mommy and Teacher Daddy Sessions,” Hayden handles math/logic and music, while Vicki takes care of teaching their daughter reading and arts/crafts.
“We also get Scarlet Snow involved in charity works,” Hayden adds. “We make sure she understands why we are helping frontliners and the less fortunate. That we are blessed for a reason. We are blessed to be a blessing.”
Part of parenting in the time of a pandemic also involves assuring your little ones, no matter how fraught with fear times are, that in the end everything will be all right. Hayden and Vicki do these through daily family devotions during breakfast. They make it a point to discuss and memorize at least one bible verse each day.
The last few weeks, for instance, they focused on verses that teach and remind believers that God is in control of everything, that Jesus is the Good Shepherd, and that the Holy Spirit is the ultimate guide and comforter.
“No matter what happens,” says Hayden, “the safest place on earth is to be at the center of God’s will.”
Despite his deepening Christian faith, Hayden, like the best of us, can’t help but sometimes feel a nagging sense of fear for his daughter. Like most parents, his greatest fear, he says, is that something might happen to him or Vicki. That would leave little Scarlet without someone to train her “to focus and live according to what is true.”
“I pray for our safety as a family every day,” he continues. “I feel that as long as Vicki and I are here, and we remain faithful to God, then Scarlet is in good hands.”
But Hayden’s role, he insists, isn’t limited to his own daughter. He also feels responsible for helping other fathers like him navigate through this “confusing reality everyone today is facing.”
“There’s a ‘mystery of iniquity’ that’s distorting how ungodly people think and the result is a culture and an environment that’s not safe for our children,” he says. “I believe that the signal truth is God, and we must make Him the foundation of our lives. Otherwise, we will all become manipulated with fragmented lives in a disjointed world we could not even begin to understand.”
Hayden doesn’t claim to have all the answers. Far from it, he admits to occasionally grappling with self-doubt himself, wondering if he has what it takes not only to oversee the growth and development of another human being, but also to purposely “build into her the right qualities and traits of character” expected of an upright, empathetic and proactive young woman someday.
“I make sure I pray a lot, read a lot and give her plenty of my time,” he says.
Hayden also can’t help but lament this prevailing “popular culture” that he believes isn’t healthy for girls and young women. For one, little girls are being enticed by the world at large to grow up too fast. As a result, they encounter quite a number of challenges they’re ill-prepared to face.
“There are millions of depraved people out there looking to victimize innocent girls,” he warns. “There are also businesses that are targeting young women to exploit them for quick profits. There’s only one thing that stands between them and our daughters. And, that’s us, their fathers!”
Despite being serious about fatherhood, Hayden hasn’t lost his fun side and sense of humor. And he has apparently passed on these endearing traits to his daughter. Come Father’s Day, for instance, Scarlet wants to surprise her daddy with a Jollibee party and a Red Ribbon cake. Well, so much for surprises. Since the little girl shared it with her mom, it didn’t take long for Vicki to tell Hayden about it. But Hayden is only too happy to play along.
“I also heard her tell her mommy that she’ll buy me a Swatch and make me a matching tie-die shirt,” adds Hayden. “I’m not kidding! Scarlet, says Vicki, is serious!”
