By LEAH C. SALTERIO / Photos from Iza Calzado’s Instagram account
The actress shares with PeopleAsia the highs and lows, and everything that comes in between, of motherhood and how daughter Deia Amihan, despite the challenges that naturally come with child-rearing, has brought out the best in her and husband Ben Wintle.
Award-winning actress Iza Calzado recently entered a new chapter in her life, and nothing she experienced before, not even all the triumphs and accolades she has earned over the years as a seasoned performer, compares to it.
Now that she’s 40, Iza recently discovered for herself the “best role” yet, that of being a first-time mom. Last January 25, she gave birth to her daughter whom she and her businessman-husband Ben Wintle named Deia Amihan, a name taken after Iza’s character in the TV fantaserye (fantasy soap opera) Encantadia.
“Wow, I didn’t know how wonderful it is to be a mom,” Iza gushed. “Being a mama is a world of its own. This is a new chapter in my life. It’s so exciting. I really couldn’t imagine having this child in my 20s. Knowing myself, how I am, how I was, I know now is the perfect time. It always works out the way it was supposed to be. Everything happens in God’s perfect time.”
Even Darna, an iconic superhero character whom Iza once played, would find being a mom a very difficult job, she said.
Calling on Darna
“I just wish I had Darna’s super strength so I will really be strong and I will not get sick. If this were a movie, you would find all the genres in one film,” Iza added. “It’s mind-blowing. It’s wonderful. It’s like getting a stamp, ‘You’re a mom.’ It’s exciting and it really came at a perfect time.”
Deia, is a “goddess of joy,” Iza beamed. “I’m so focused on her. I have yet to leave her at home for more than four hours. But we’ve taken her twice to The Farm at San Benito. We haven’t taken her on a long-haul flight. No rush, though.”
When Iza recently went on a shoot for her first endorsement as a mom, she brought her daughter along. Deia, it turns out, is a “talkative baby,” always smiling and curious of her surroundings. Her mom’s clueless where her little one, who’s the spitting image of her dad, got her “kadaldalan.”
The baby also exudes some “Lito Calzado vibe” in her, she observed, referring to her dad, the late choreographer. “Hopefully, Deia will also be a dancer like my dad. I can sense his energy through her.”
The actress now calls herself Mommy Iza. “I know it has just been four months, but this is full immersion at its best. It has been an amazing experience so far.” She added, “I think moms should also honor themselves. It’s very important that we recognize the work that we do. It’s not easy.”
Iza, whose own mother died much earlier, had no idea how difficult it is to become a mom. Especially during the first three months, which she said is very crucial, because most first-time moms like her are experiencing post-partum moments.
“There are days when I struggle. I didn’t know where to start and what to do. It matters that I know I’m not alone,” she offered. “There are so many people happy for you, but they have no idea what you’re going through. Being a mom is a job for a superhero. I wouldn’t be able to do this without the kind of support that I get, especially from my ‘angel’ at home, my yaya. I take no shame in saying that because I have no extended family to turn to. Who will I leave the baby with? Who else will take care of her while I am away?”
Iza’s in-laws, Ben’s parents, don’t live in Manila. “I am really so thankful for the support that I have. Ben is always around and it’s nice to have that kind of partner.
In the morning, Ben makes it a point to spend time with Deia, especially now that she’s more animated and starting to interact more. The involved father is very eager to research on what to do to make the most out of their time together.
Importance of a support group
She’s also grateful for the support coming from mom-friends such as Cristalle Belo-Pitt, Therese Herrera and Patty Grant. “I also have [non-celebrity] friends who have been very helpful, especially my high school friends, one of whom is also a new mom like me.”
“Motherhood is filled with self-love, but it can also be very empowering,” Iza added. “The best way to empower yourself is to pat yourself on the back and give yourself that break. So take a break before you break,” she said, giving newbie mothers like her unsolicited advice. “On days when I struggle and I didn’t know where to start, it matters that I know I’m not alone.”
Although she has considerably lost a lot of weight, Iza is not on a diet now. For someone who constantly watches what she eats because of her profession, Iza has cut herself some slack this time.
“I don’t avoid carbs. I honor my body where it’s at. I don’t want to starve myself. I might get temperamental if I’m depleted in any way with regards to food and sleep, and that’s not a good combination. Now, I just know my parameters. I will indulge if I can and if I want to. I had rice the other night, for instance, when we ate at a Japanese restaurant. I don’t want to deprive myself, but I’m also quite disciplined about certain foods,” she shared.
Iza has also had to cope with the challenge of not having enough milk. Thus, she hardly breastfeeds. You want to give your child the best, she said, but when you can’t, for whatever reason, it could be devastating. Thankfully, Iza has found a “very generous” breastmilk donor. If all else fails, she’s not losing any sleep should she resort to milk formula. “My baby is healthy. I count my blessings,” she declared.
She’s now more aware that there are so many decisions to make once you becaome a mom. “From as simple as the diaper to the clothing, what products to use, what milk to use, there are so many choices,” Iza said. “Sometimes, it can get so overwhelming.”
Admittedly, Iza had post-partum moments soon after giving birth. “I will not call it depression because I’m very careful when using terms,” she explained. “Depression happens for an extended period of time. What I had were post-partum dips. I had moments. I had challenges. There were moments when I didn’t feel enough. When I felt incompetent.”
Now that she’s celebrating her very first Mother’s Day with Deia, Iza has made no attempts to hide from the rest of the world how thrilled she is. “This is full immersion at its best,” she said. “It has been an amazing experience so far. It’s my first Mother’s Day as a mom myself and I’m excited.”
“I think moms should also honor themselves. As mothers, it’s important that we should honor the work we do,” she added.
Iza, even before Deia came into her life, has been an advocate for mental health, especially women’s health and mental well-being. Now, she said, her commitment to this advocacy has gotten deeper because of her more recent journey.
“Being a mom and knowing how to take a break are points that I’ll be using in my personal platform. They’re reminders. The last thing you want is to break. When that happens, it’s hard to be the best mother to your child,” she said.
Although she makes a living from being a cry baby on screen, Iza suddenly finds herself often crying, shedding real tears, now that she’s a mom. “I cry for so many reasons — out of frustration, from pure love, from bliss at the thought of having once carried this beautiful human being inside me. The way she looks at me in a certain way, to me, is a pure kind of love. The kind of love I have been in search of for a long time.”
