BY JOSE PAOLO S. DELA CRUZ
When Jon De Guzman and Sara Soliven-De Guzman tied the knot at the Archbishop’s Palace in Mandaluyong City on Jan. 5, 1999, the priest who officiated in the wedding played “What Matters Most ” during the ceremony. Now, 25 years into their marriage, these once long-distance lovers can finally say that they fully understand why, as the song goes, “what matters is how well we loved each other.”
— Sara
She’s a delicate mestiza beauty, the unica hija of an iconic Filipino journalist and his equally illustrious wife. He, on the other hand, is a tall, dark and handsome “Amboy” [American Boy] who was on a break from his work as a nurse in the US. And while the entire premise may mirror that of a romantic movie, make no mistake, Jon and Sara are two very real people.
And their love story continues to be written, three decades and three children later, with new chapters being added every day.
On this particular day, the story brings PeopleAsia to Preziosa Gardens in Tagaytay, where the couple are being dolled up for their photoshoot. And in between takes and retouches, riding motorcycles and feeding sheep, the two open up about their romantic journey.
Long-distance love affair
Some five years before Fr. Junie Zarate, played Kenny Rankin’s ballad at the Archbishop’s Palace on their wedding day, Jon and Sara were two very single people.
It was 1993 and Sara had just returned to the Philippines after living for seven years in the US. “I was 23 years old and I had just started working for my mom [Dr. Preciosa Soliven] at O.B Montessori. Everyone just wanted to pair me up with people they knew. Eventually, one of the students’ parents suggested that I meet with his cousin,” she shares.
The said cousin was Jon, who was in Manila to attend his sister’s wedding. By then, he had lived in the US for 11 years, save for some vacations he spent in the Philippines. “There were six of us and we played billiards at Migs along Jupiter Street. It was just really to get to know each other, just to go out but not exactly to get paired up or anything,” explains Jon.
‘‘Naku! Amboy ’to,” Sara then thought to herself, when she met Jon in his plaid shirt. With a smile, she adds: “I had just come from the States at that time, so I kind of knew how they’re like.”
Amboy or not, the attraction was almost instant. And while the two claim that it was friendly in the beginning, it didn’t remain so for long.
“After that, we went out together every night! Hindi na ko nakipagkita sa mga kamag-anak ko [I didn’t even meet again with my family],” Jon adds laughing. “I only had three weeks left, eh!”
By their third date, and in a bid, perhaps, to manage expectations, the two agreed to keep things casual. “I knew I’d stay in Manila and he’d go back to Texas, so we agreed to keep in touch,” shares Sara. There was no Internet and social media platforms to help them keep their promise.
Still, their word held water.
“87”
Almost a year after their first meeting in the Philippines (and some overseas calls later), Sara and Jon were again reunited, this time with her flying to the US for summer break. True to form, “Teacher” Sara asked Jon to “grade” his efforts in the relationship as they were driving along the freeway.
“He gave himself an 87,” shares Sara. “And I was like, why just 87?”
In all honesty, Jon admitted to having dated around and meeting someone else, thus the less than perfect grade. “Hindi na talaga niya nakalimutan, o [She really can’t forget that story]?” Jon tells us laughing.
The conversation, according to them, became “quite intense,” and the two of them missed their exit. An hour later, they ended up in another state.
“I wasn’t angry. I think I handled it pretty maturely,” Sara now says. “We agreed naman that we’d see other people.”
Days turned into months and months into years as the two enjoyed — and accepted the limitations of — their open relationship. By then, Sara, too, had her fair share of suitors back in Manila. “But always, my friends, even my dad [Max Soliven] and my mom, would say, ‘parang mas bagay kayo nung Jon’ [you and Jon seem to be a better fit.]” shares Sara.
One particular suitor even went as far as to attempt to book a surprise out-of-town trip for Sara on Valentine’s Day. Taken aback by the bold move, she called Jon. “I realized then, look at me, when I have a problem, and when I need solace or to find peace, I’d call him.”
“Are you ever coming back?” she asked. “Someone is trying to take your space. Are we moving forward or what?”
Jon, on the other hand, couldn’t give a straight answer. “That’s unfair,” he said “You’re there and I’m all the way out here. Give me a few months.”
Still, no plans were made. Life went on for Sara, who continued to do her work. Until one day, a knock on her door changed the course of her life forever. It was Jon, who, out of the blue, came to her office and gave her a bouquet of roses.
“Are you kidding? Why are you here? Are you just visiting?” she remembers herself asking Jon.
“‘I left my life there for you,” he answered.
This included his green card, which Jon surrendered in a heartbeat to be with the woman he loved.
“When we finally decided to settle down and get married after five years, Jon was already a US resident. And so that meant that he would have to give up his green card. It wasn’t even a question in Jon’s mind though. He just gave it up. And so my dad said, that’s real love,” adds Sara.
So proud was Max of his future son-in-law, that he even wrote about his decision in the papers.
An [almost] empty nest full of love
Twenty-five years later, Sara and Jon are still going strong, having come a long way from the two twenty-somethings who had found love halfway round the globe.
Their two elder kids, Maxine and Manolo have since moved out of their home to take their bachelor’s degrees Down Under. “Maxine, who is 20, is taking up Landscape Architecture. Manolo, turning 19 this year, is studying Mechatronics. Meanwhile, our youngest, Monique is currently in Grade 11,” shares Sara.
“We’re soon going to be empty nesters,” Jon adds. While all their kids will have soon flown the coop, Sara and Jon share that building that nest took them quite some time and effort. Sara, in fact, conceived her eldest daughter through IVF in the US, after experiencing difficulties in conceiving. The two even suffered a miscarriage on their first attempt.
“The first try, we failed. We lost the baby. We needed to recalculate or recalibrate ourselves,” Sara says, admitting that in the earlier days of their marriage, they would often clash, since both were quite set in their ways.
“We may have wanted to have a baby, but we didn’t care enough for one another,” she shares.
On their second try, husband and wife sat down and committed themselves to the process. “When we went back to the US, we knew that we had to make sacrifices for it to work. And to Jon’s credit, he was the one who cooked for me, he was the one who washed the clothes. And then, Maxine was born,” shares Sara.
The two, having gotten to know each other better through the years, have also learned how to not just be there for each other, but to also get out of each other’s way every once in a while.
For one, Sara, as both of them admits, tends to work very hard.
“It’s my job to take her away from work,” says Jon. There’s a caveat though. “I used to pry her away from work, so that she could relax on a trip and we would end up fighting all day. Now I know better.”
Jon, on the other hand, gets to enjoy his personal time and pursue his businesses and passions, without having to worry about his wife.
“We respect each other for who we are. Jon, in a way, he’s independent of me. He likes motorbikes, he likes cars, there are things that he likes that he can enjoy. Hindi ko ’yan pinapakialaman [I don’t meddle with them],” shares Sara. “I find happiness in my work. He finds happiness in his own work and in his hobbies. And that’s great!”
And that, ladies and gents, is, as Kenny Rankin sang, “how well they love each other.”
Photography by Dix Perez
Art direction by Dexter Francis De Vera
Hair, makeup and grooming by Eddie Mar Cabiltes
Shot on location at Preziosa Farms, Tagaytay
