Motherhood is hard, motherhood in the time of social media is ten times as hard. Before, you’ll only have to put up with your mother and mother-in-law’s opinions on how to raise your children, but now everyone can weigh in on your parenting. And sometimes it seems like everybody does.
Debates on how to do motherhood abound: Breastfed versus Bottlefed (and oh, all the baggage that comes with it); organic versus what’s readily available; gender specific colors (pink for girls and blue for boys) versus gender neutral; co-sleeping versus crib sleeping; and these debates are just during the first few weeks of your baby’s life! Then there’s the no gadgets and more books versus let them adapt to technology as early as possible. No photos of babies on social media or flood your friend’s feeds with baby photos? Then there’s the old argument between working or being stay-at-home-moms, who’s a more empowered woman? Should you go out with your friends once in a while, or say so long to social life until the kids go to school?
Then, there’s the single mom who may or may not have chosen to parent her child solo. There’s a whole load of comments and judgments that go with her situation too. What if her child grows up with daddy issues? Maybe she should have married the baby daddy to give her kid “legitimacy.” Where does she leave her kid when she has to go to work?
There are so many arguments and requirements on what it takes to be a mother that makes you wonder if having a baby is worth all this trouble. But it’s too late, the baby is here, and you’re already a mom.
But, you know what? Forget what people think. Yes, everybody wants to be the perfect mom, but the reality is, nobody can be the perfect mom! Media mogul and mother Arianna Huffington had this to say about motherhood perfection: “The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly — indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection.”
Every child is different, and you are different. You do yours, just as every other mom does her thing, no apologies. Go ahead and do what you think is right for you and your child. A lot of successes in life include choosing what to accept and what to reject or ignore. At some point, you have to forget what you see on social media and focus on the task at hand — keeping your kids fed, clothed and alive while keeping yourself sane.
Yes, make sure you take care of yourself. Get enough rest, exercise and personal time. Go ahead and dream and if you want, keep on working towards your dream — whatever it may be. Don’t let that pesky mom guilt get to you. How would you be able to take care of your children if you’re not in any shape to do that?
Not that we don’t know that you already know this. It’s ironic that this article is telling you that you don’t have to do everything that people say you should. But, this is just in case you need an outside voice telling you what your inner voice is already saying.
There are many kickass mothers to inspire you, but kick ass your way. Look at the other mothers to know that you are not alone in your struggles, but there’s no point of comparison now. Discover what works for you, your family and your children. Sometimes the road to discovery can get scary and messy, because really life is scary and messy. You just have to be victorious at the end of the line.
Take some pointers and be the first to catch “SMILF,” a new series streaming on Fox+. Moms would be able to relate or laugh or just shake their heads at this funny, sexy and sometimes too real drama of motherhood as Bridgette Bird navigates her way through life as a young single mother in all of its messy and complicated glory.
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