BY BÜM D. TENORIO JR.
The adjectives “outstanding” and “spectacular” exist in the domain of Rachelle Ann Go. The same words were used by theater aficionados to describe her performance at the recently concluded Manila-run of Hamilton, where she essayed with fervor and power the role of Elizabeth “Eliza” Hamilton. Her vocal range — sweet and ripe, flowing and elastic — produces the effortless high and low, earning for her the adulation of fans from various parts of the globe.
The diminutive actor-singer is a dynamo. She first played Eliza in the West End production of Hamilton in 2017 in London. Prior to that, she essayed the powerful role of bar girl Gigi in Miss Saigon (revival) at the West End in 2014. She also essayed the same role of Gigi on Broadway in New York in 2017. She, too, received glowing reviews for her portrayal of Fantine for the UK and Ireland tour of Les Misérables. She was also Fantine in the Philippine production of the musical based on the novel of Victor Hugo in 2016.
Despite her many “wins,” Rachelle started as a “loser.”
“I was a ‘loser’ in the minds of some when I was starting (to carve out) my path in singing,” she begins with a confident smile. The confidence is perhaps aided by her Christian faith as she hums “All my life You have been faithful. I will sing of the goodness of the Lord” while she’s being dolled up at her solo actor’s room of The Theatre in Solaire that housed the production of Hamilton.
“Like many others in the industry, I joined hundreds of amateur singing contests. I was nine when I won my first singing contest in Barangay San Joaquin in Pasig where I was born.
“While waiting for my turn to sing, I heard people whispering, ‘Hindi mananalo ’yan. Pangit kasi (She will not win. She’s not pretty). While waiting for the winners of the competition, I heard them again snickering, ‘Hindi mananalo ’yan. Pangit ang boses (She will not win. Her voice is not good).’”
But Rachelle won first place that night. Her piece: “And I Am Telling You,” the version of her idol Regine Velasquez. She went home that night on a jeepney clad in a denim skirt and navy-blue polo shirt — her arms around her huge trophy. A feeling of vindication enveloped her.
The verbal bullying she experienced on her first salvo to public singing, however, created a huge dent in her juvenile confidence. The bashing repeated every time she joined a contest. “Every time I looked in the mirror then, I thought of myself as someone ‘ugly’ and ‘not good enough’ because that was what I would always hear. I really grew up insecure,” says Rachel.
Sigmund Freud called it reaction-formation defense mechanism when a person is marred deeply by troublesome comments she experienced when she was a child. That despite Rachelle winning grand champion in national televised singing contests like “Birit Baby” on Eat Bulaga when she was 11, and GMA’s Search for a Star when she was 18, she remained “an insecure soul.” That despite winning the silver prize at the Shanghai Music Festival in 2005 and “Best Own Song” at the Astana International Song Festival in Kazakhstan in the same year, Rachelle remained “unsure of myself, unsure of my talent, insecure.”
Her voice sang the most powerful notes. Her mind noted the most powerful voice that “I am not good.”
Turning point
At what point did she realize that she could stand on her own and that she would never be insecure of what others would say about her craft?
“I was in London doing Les Misérables in 2015. They pulled me out to do the Philippine leg of the musical in 2016. I played Fantine in Manila for three months before I went back to London to finish my contract that expired in 2017. (Prior, I did Saigon in 2014.)
“When I did Miss Saigon and Les Misérables, hirap ako. Na- homesick ako. I had no friends. It did not help that I was the only Asian when I was doing Les Miz. I felt I was an outcast. The three-month show in Manila was a reprieve. I saw my family. I was recharged.
“When I went back to London, I was okay, recharged. But when I was doing the show in London, I forgot some of the lyrics of my song. This is, perhaps, because I was a bit disoriented on stage. In the Philippine production, there was no revolving stage; the London show had one. I was jetlagged and performing on a different stage. Couple that with the fact that English was not my first language, so when I sang, I don’t know why but I found it difficult to sing. ’Pag kumakanta ako, nahihirapan ako to adjust sa dami kong iniisip. Nagkakamali po talaga ako. (When I sing, I find it difficult to adjust when so many things are on my mind.) That was so embarrassing.
“I was performing at the West End, an Asian, an Asian who was fumbling on the lyrics of the song. I felt ashamed. I cried. I lost my confidence again for a few days.
“I was asking the Lord, ‘Am I supposed to do this? Is this my purpose in life? Am I fit to be here?’”
God, she believes, replied through Peter Lockyer, an American thespian who essayed the role of Jean Valjean, who hugged Rachelle after the show. He told Rachelle, “You were amazing.” That compliment, said sincerely by a theater star in Peter, whom Rachelle had worked with for more than a year, changed her perspective.
“At that point, when I heard what Peter said, everything changed. It was as if I heard God answering me. Everything changed, my whole performance, my motivation, my inspiration to do good on stage. I felt like I shouldn’t be pleasing people. I shouldn’t be performing for their applause because I know He’s cheering for me. Pinakilig ako ng Diyos (The Lord made me feel giddy). I was excited to perform. I was singing, performing for the Lord. This is it, all for the glory of God,” she recalls her turning point.
The insecurities of an introvert nine-year-old Shin, the nickname her family gave her from the Chinese word that means “new heart” or “new star,” were cushioned all along by her supportive family.
Her mom, Russell, a “sweet Ilongga,” and a singer who had a band that performed in Japan, taught her patience and courage. She even taught her to sing Lupang Hinirang when she was five — which made Rachelle Ann win the best singer award in Kindergarten.
Her father, Oscar, who “pushed me to join all the contests,” taught her sports, music and the standard lines “don’t give up” and “losing is part of winning.” Oscar met his wife when she recorded in his small recording studio. All their four children, with Rachelle as the eldest in the brood, are musically inclined.
Rachelle’s heart further quieted as it sang romance when she met at One Nation church in New York her future husband Martin Spies, a manager at a gym company, while on a day off from Miss Saigon. They got married in 2018 and have two children, Lukas, two, and Sela, nine months.
“My ultimate joy is cuddling my two kids after the show,” she says, adding that she’s still breastfeeding Lukas and Sela.
Rachelle Ann Go’s journey to self-actualization was long. But she lives life without regrets. And she will continue to sing her favorite song “That Would Be Enough” when she reprises the role of Eliza when Hamilton opens in Dubai soon.
Without reservation, she will be outstanding and spectacular anew.
Photography by Dix Perez
Makeup by Mark Fernandez, assisted by Greg Michael Fernandez
Hair by Joben Dinglasan
