The Married Marias: Carla Pastor Antonio and Cecilia “Ces” Gahuman

By DENISE ROCO

As of this writing, the act of marriage favors only heterosexual couples in the predominantly Roman Catholic Philippines. Those who have other sexual preferences do not yet have the privilege of being united in law. But the story of the first lesbian Filipina to be granted a fiancée visa to the US is a testament that queer love isn’t so queer anymore.

(Married Marias  and Carla)

It had to take nearly 12 years before Cecilia “Ces” Gahuman and Carla Pastor Antonio were able to start spending together forever in matrimony, even when they knew long before how sure they wanted each other.

Like many lesbian couples, Ces and Carla had to stick it out and suck it in; the fact that they could not utter “I do’s,” until a landmark ruling was announced by the US Supreme Court in June 2013.

On that historic day, the High Court effectively ruled that gays and lesbians could petition their spouse or fiancée through due legal process. This was backed by the principle of equal protection in the US Constitution, one that guarantees the right for all Americans to choose whom to love and to marry, regardless of sexual orientation.

Cupid’s arrow

Ces and Carla’s extraordinary story begins with an English teacher whose role would transcend basic curriculum. Ces’ English teacher in first year high school at Malate Catholic School would be the same teacher Carla would have six years later, in her first year of high school at the Sto. Niño Parochial School. The English teacher was introduced to their common friend Liane, who then introduced them to each other over the phone.

About a year later, Ces and Carla watched a movie on Feb. 15, but Carla wasn’t so keen on the idea. Carla reacts, “She asked me out actually on Feb. 14, but I didn’t want to because we weren’t officially together. Why would I watch a movie with her on Valentine’s?” After watching the movie at SM City North Edsa, they spoke over the phone. Ces blurted out “I love you” to a shocked Carla.

Carla found it unbelievable, “Noong una, akala ko talaga nagbibiro siya. Siyempre ako, nasa high school pa lang; eh siya nasa college na. Hindi naman makatotohanan na magkakagusto siya sa akin. (Initially, I really thought she was just kidding. I was still in high school and she was already in college; I didn’t think it was plausible she would like me.)”

The couple has a six-year age gap. But this was no match for the things to come. Two years after they officially became “girlfriends,” Carla was petitioned by her mother and migrated to the US on Feb. 10, 2004. She juggled three jobs for nearly a year, working in Krispy Kreme, Long’s Drugs and Sears, doing graveyard shifts even on Sundays.

(The happy couple abroad)

Carla eventually joined the Navy in November 2005. She went to boot camp at the Naval Station Great Lakes near North Chicago. It was her first time to see snow at Great Lakes. After six months, she got her orders and found out that she was going to Japan. “I was scared because I had just practically arrived in a foreign land; I didn’t know anyone and I was set to leave again. But then again, I thought that if I’m in Japan, I would be closer to the Philippines. And being closer to the Philippines meant being closer to Ces, so I just endured it,” Carla reminisces.

Love makes no promises

The burden of a long-distance relationship included long days and nights without contact and short periods of conversation. These forms of communication brought them closer; at the same time, it emphasized that touching your lover’s face on screen is not the same as actually feeling her skin.

Ces explains, “It came to a point that whether or not we could get married, Carla would give up the Navy just so she could come back to the Philippines. She even bought a house for us, but now she’s having it rented.”

The winter of discontent finally ceased when the ladies caught news that Carla could petition Ces. If it would be granted, Ces would leave the care of her family and a career she spent years building.

Carla proposed via Facebook on July 31, 2013. Three and a half months after, on Nov. 27, Ces had an appointment with the US Embassy.

Stars and stripes

Ces stood in line at 6 a.m. to enter the US Embassy. By 7:30 a.m., the line crawled inside the doorways, while anxiety crept up her spine. The interrogation began, first with the Filipino consul.

He fired away with questions: “When did you meet? How many years have you been together? Can I see some of the photos?”

Ces was armed with a heavy ammunition of documents, from her birth certificate to her National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) clearance. The photos she presented were thick and glued to bond paper. It was an album of sorts, which included their first pictures together, her parents and that of Carla’s, and more images that traced their timeline.

He took a look at all of it, saw she was unmarried, and continued to asked for more documents, which Ces attentively showed.

(Ces and Carla immortalizing their vows to each other in marriage)

The consul then proceeded to look at her phone bill. “Even if there are money transfers, they look at it. They really want to find out if (the relationship) is really true.” She then transferred to the next window to the foreigner. Ces was so nervous, as she swore an oath of truth that she had to read aloud.

She narrates, “He noticed we were both Marias. She is Maria Carla  Antonio; I am Maria Cecilia Gahuman.”

“‘So both Marias?’ he asked. ‘Yes, sir,’ I said. So he laughed a bit. He asked, ‘What is the rank of your fiancée?’ I didn’t know her rank because we had never talked about it, but I had to answer quickly before he marked it with an ‘X.’ I told him that she’s a gas turbine mechanic. I exclaimed, ‘Right now, she works in an office, but I’m not sure if she has a rank. (She was GSM2, now she is GSM1.)”

“‘Is your relationship known to your parents?’ ‘Yes,’ I replied. He asked, ‘Did you know that in the US, gays and lesbians are very welcome?’ He seemed very happy. Then I was waiting for him to stamp ‘Approved.’ I couldn’t contain myself and uttered, ‘Sir, I just want to know if I’m approved?’

He replied, ‘Definitely, yes’!”

But before going to the next window, the man asked her if it would be okay that she be interviewed again in a separate room.

“I got scared again. Why a separate room? What are they going to do?” recalls Ces.

She noticed everyone was looking at her, as though she was a special case, which, indeed, she was. She went to the other room. Then they asked her if the US Embassy could publish her story in their newsletter and disseminate the news to the newspapers, and the TV stations as well.

It turned out that Ces, out of all the United States’ female immigrants, was the first ever Filipina to be granted a fiancé visa.

Take a vow

Carla already knew that there was a big chance that Ces’ visa would be approved, especially with her being in the US Navy. Ces’ US visa arrived Dec. 7, the same day that the news was released to the public. On Dec. 30, Carla wore the bowtie, while Ces wore the dress. They were wed at Santa Clara’s Freedom Hall and Gardens in California, with an intimate reception consisting of 50 guests.

(The couple is all smiles after the wedding ceremony)

Editor’s note: The original article containing these excerpts was first published in PeopleAsia’s February – March 2014 issue.  

Share on Facebook

Tweet